Whether it be in relation to raising children, walking with friends, or leading employees, the fact that we are free people plays heavily into how we must manage our influence. We cannot become controlling or dictating with mature individuals.

When our children are young, we must be directive, but as their ability to reason grows we move into and through coaching, and supporting roles. Ultimately they end up caring for us!

With employees, we must start with directive, but then also move through coaching, support and delegative roles as their confidence and ability grows.

As an adviser or friend, we can convey perspective, but we cannot control others with expectations or directives.

Whenever someone is not allowed to own their behavior and the accompanying consequences, boundaries are being crossed…and they can develop no confidence in their ability to understand cause and effect.