(Photo by Zac Durant on Unsplash)
Have you ever found yourself pondering who you are? There are many roles you play in life – you may be father/mother, husband/wife, sibling, friend, worker, leader, etc, etc…but who are you? You may not be aware of the pervasiveness of this question in the whirlwinds of busyness.
The noise and clutter of the world around us overwhelms the capacity for our reflective thought and awareness. But every once in a while – in moments of quiet throughout the average day, a still, small, voice can be heard.
“You can sense it in the mornin’ – as you turn the coffee on
It comes without a warning – when all you feel is numb
And you’re lookin’ for the meaning in all you’ve done
Hope rides on the horizon…”
“You can feel it when you’re drivin’, just waiting at the light
It’s just like you’re surviving – when there’s no change in sight
Going through the motions, you gotta be the one
Hope rides on the horizon…”
I am in one of those moments right now. A quiet morning with a coffee on the deck. This is the last day of vacation, and I get back to the business of work soon. It has been a great time away – and I enjoy my work, and the people I work with – but the stillness has given me time to ponder the question of who I am.
“You can see it at nightfall – when you’re alone in the dark
When there’s no one else to call – to relieve your aching heart
In humble submission – where the rest finally comes, you’ll find that
Hope rides on the horizon”
To promote an album I am told that I need to give a compelling story of who I am – but with clarity and succinctness. Something that evokes the emotion of my target audience. I find this process difficult. I’m not looking for fame or a stage, and yet I can never stop communicating. Like a mosaic, I believe that I am the sum of my parts; all the broken pieces that make me whole – but how does one describe a mosaic?
I’m an orphan, sibling, husband, father, grandfather, friend, business partner, leader, and musician. I have been an overachiever and I have made some of the dumbest blunders. I have been an encourager, and I have spoken words cruelly. These are some of the roles, actions and impacts of David E White. I value depth and authenticity, and for as long as I can remember, I have felt a connection with the Creator. Flowing from this connection has been a perpetual need to communicate grace and acceptance. Who am I?
Pondering the question of who I am seems to involve a lot of reflecting backward to see who I have been in the past…maybe the better question to ask is, “Who do I want to become?” There will be a day when someone will write an obituary on who I have been, but until that time, my being, and doing culminate in my becoming. In this moment, I can choose, and as I choose, I know.
“The worth and excellency of a soul is measured by the object of its love.” Henry Scougal
I love my Creator, and I want to be an encourager of all that He has created; each creature that enters my circle of influence, for they are of infinite value. I want to use whatever I can to encourage: voice, lyric, melody, and arrangement – but also every word I speak over a bold cup of coffee. Success will be less about my reach and more about the quality of presence. This is living with grace for life, others and self: the unforced rhythms of grace that allow a person to be, do and become unto a fullness.
The question is there for each of us — waiting at the dawn of each day — inviting us forward. As long as we have breath, we can become. As we look to the future; lifting our eyes to the horizon — hope rides.
