If you have been following this blog, you will know about how I relinquished the title of my album, “Breathing Again”. If not, you can read about that here. I am satisfied with the new title, and I am delighted with the interaction that brought the new title, Open Water, forward; grace in action! One additional benefit to this happening was that my son introduced me to a new word: Pneuma.
I have known of pneumatics, as the word pertains to air-based systems, but I have never thought of the root word, or its definition: “the vital spirit, soul, or creative force of a person”. The word, and its meaning, have captured me; captures my experience of returning to music to write, produce and record this album in a profound way – even better than the title, Breathing Again. To say I am “breathing again” is to highlight the return to something I had done in the past (it did feel as though I held my breath for the past ten (10) years), and this is accurate – four previous albums, here comes a fifth — but this is incomplete.
The album is something I brought into existence – so I did “create” – but when I combine breathing and creating as a “vital”, “spirit” and/or “soul” force…well that gives me goosebumps! What a tragedy it would have been to have a force arising from my soul and spirit repressed for the balance of this life. What a difference it is to feel it come alive — and not just in the manner that it once was, but in a new, fresh and dynamic way!
Question insert: Can you relate to going through the motions of life as feeling like you are not fully breathing?
I have suggested that it felt like I held my breath for ten years. I couldn’t sing, write or play music. I could barely listen to it. Every once in a while someone’s song might sneak through to me, but I lived in relative musical silence. I worked to find other ways to create – and they did make me feel alive while I was engaged – but when the projects were completed, I returned to feeling like I was holding my breath – waiting for something meaningful, but not knowing what to expect or what to hope for.
I know that grace enabled the initial steps back into music, and that grace further enabled all of what I have experienced since taking those steps. Grace as an openness to what may come, an anticipation that something good would come, and a mitigation (choosable option) of peace over anxiety, fear and depression.
I did not always feel the freedom of grace (and still don’t) but each moment I do seems to be building on the last, and something of transformation is happening — and this is where it gets interesting: I create, and through the creation a force is moving in and through to transform. I find this mind-blowingly beyond words – until I was introduced to “PNEUMA”.
Suggestion insert: We all have the capacity to bring something good into existence – Yes, you too. We were created for it! Your VITAL spirit, soul, creative force has been purposed for good.
There is an altruistic alignment/interconnection between the CREATOR, the Creation, The Creature and the Creating.
To be “vital” is to be necessary / essential to the continuation of life. Wow — no wonder it feels like dying (or to be among the living dead) to be afraid to create!
